Forget the Room
Write selfishly.
Hi Cringers,
Have you ever been told to “Read the room?”
Basically, pay attention to the social cues, vibes, and power dynamics of your environment, so you can adjust your words and behavior accordingly.
The goal is usually to blend in, mirror the energy around you, and minimize the cringe of social interactions.
And for sure, there are times when reading the room makes sense, like maybe don’t try your stand-up comedy routine at your aunt’s funeral, start doing Zumba during your annual performance review, or speak in tongues at your sister’s baby shower. Then again, you can do whatever you want; it’s your life. #YOLO.
But you get the idea. There are times and places where reading the room is necessary for social survival.
There are also times when reading the room can work against you, drain you, and make you disappear.
When you spend your time scanning your environment, adapting to those around you, and adjusting your communication style accordingly, you can start to lose yourself, lose sight of your message, and become forgettable.
This can happen both online and offline.
What I’ve loved about developing a public writing practice is that I haven’t had to think so much about “the room.”
Sure, LinkedIn has a certain vibe, and some readers may have certain expectations about what I say and how I say it, but I don’t think too much about any of that when I write.
I'm rather selfish about it all. I write about what I’m interested in, and while I do write for all of you (and hope you get some value from what I share), I mostly write for myself, to explore ideas. In other words, I forget about the room when I write.
Forgetting about the room has been freeing for me, as a frequent room scanner in my offline life.
When I’m writing by myself, I’m not thinking so much about what I say, how so-and-so is going to respond, how my tone is coming across, etc.
By *not reading the room, I come back to myself.
When you write for yourself without considering a person or group of people, you end up writing more personally and often more universally.
The irony is that by writing for yourself, you usually create something that others can connect to more deeply.
You retain more of your voice.
You share more of your perspective.
You write more confidently and less from a place of seeking approval.
And the more you write from this place, the clearer you get on your voice, priorities, and overarching ideas, the better able you are to create something that resonates.
This contradicts most advice that suggest imagining your ideal customer or persona. Because while this can be helpful and provide some focus, it can also cause you to water yourself down, mix up your messaging, and blend in to the point of going unnoticed.
There are times to read the room and times to forget the room. If you you're feeling stuck or ignored, it’s likely because you're overly hung up on who you’re writing for or how it will be received.
Developing your voice requires digging into who you are and what you value. You can’t do this if you’re spending all your time and energy scanning/adapting/and molding yourself for your readers.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your writing is to forget the room entirely, to focus less on adjusting to the outside and more on pulling out what's on the inside.
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Until next time,
